David Szymanski: in my game i have invented the Iron Lung as a cautionary tale

Billionaires: at long last, we have created the Iron Lung from classic horror game Don’t Create The Iron Lung

image

I feel at home already

@roadwrkahead

I have had it with this likescolding. “Tumblr doesn’t have an algorithm so likes don’t actually do anything” motherfucker I am not clicking that heart to give some post better ~algorithmic visibility~ I am clicking that heart to help my internet friend microdose on serotonin as god fucking intended

if I ever visit Europe I’d be torn between a.) taking the opportunity not to have to smile at people and b.) unleashing the dreaded American Smile upon the populace to give them something to complain about

gonna walk through the streets of Eastern Europe in a Stetson and silver cowboy boots grinning at people like a hostile chimpanzee and greeting them with “howdy!”

Do you want to get assaulted or trying to make an old lady invite you to her home to find out what's wrong with you and then gossip about it with her friends?

yes? obviously?

You are on the right path to accomplish both of those missions but keep yourself safe and don't do anything too crazy. Some people aren't going to receive you well, especially because you are American

if I am slain for my unsettling rictus cowboy swagger it will be an honorable death

I've survived my first day on Tumblr

Achievements:

  • Don't shoot! I'm friendly!: Prove you're not a bot
  • AI dismemberment: Disable algorithm settings
  • Friends?: Gained a mutual
  • I recognize you: Follow someone you know from r/Tumblr
  • MY EYES!: Change the site palette
  • Great Idea: Reblog a post
  • They love me: Have a post reblogged

Oh boy oh boy you're gonna get a Rare achievement for this one


Containment Breach

I just came up with a horrible drawing game.

First artist draws a human OC, second artist draws that OC's fursona. Third artist draws a humanized version of that fursona without seeing the original OC, fourth artist draws a fursona for that character. So on and so forth.

also known as "tewephone :3c"

TEWEPHONE OH MY GOD

I’m about to have a fun afternoon.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.

So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.

Arrival:

So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”

Retrieval:

So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.

Delivery:

So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.

What a great day.

I was thinking about this story for no reason and decided I should grace you all with it again.

lemonsharks:
“powrightinthekisser:
“ This is Money Marge. Reblog for a miracle of finances to come to you
πŸ™πŸΎπŸ’°πŸ’΅
”
Please money marge, send me a job callback
”

This is Money Marge. Reblog for a miracle of finances to come to you

🙏🏾💰💵

Please money marge, send me a job callback

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